Taking lessons from gardening.

As I was out doing yardwork with my husband last week, I started on our knockout rose bushes. We have them on either side of our house, and they are as beautiful as they are prolific.  They do, however, get messy once the blooms start to die and shed their petals.  Once all the pedals are strewn on the ground below, dusting the ground with their pink decorations, all that is left is a yellowish-brown button with a crown of dried remnants of their beauty.   If one is diligent about pruning the dead flowers, new growth will come quickly to the rest of the plant. Pruning helps plants focus on the new life and new beginnings of growth rather than try to give nutrients to the dead part of the plant that won’t grow. Less energy is spent trying to focus on the dead and more energy is given to the part of the plant that will be productive. 

As I was pruning, I got to thinking about how true this is in our own lives. If we prune away the unproductive areas in our life, or allow those areas to be pruned, we set ourselves up for new growth and new blooms.  How many of us, me included, focus on the dead stuff in our lives, trying to nourish that which is meant to be cut away. Those people, places, activities, and items in our lives that were useful, beneficial, and pretty at one time but no longer serve a purpose.  Like the rose bush or other flowers, we may try to feed something that isn’t meant to be productive any longer, something or someone that isn’t going to foster any further beauty and is meant to be cut off and pruned back so new beginnings can emerge.

I’ve been guilty of this, and I bet there is more than one reader out there that has been as well.  Perhaps it’s a friendship or relationship that has gone stale and served its purpose for a particular time in your life, but just isn’t beneficial to either of you any longer; are you trying to regenerate or rekindle but not feeling the joy you once did?  Maybe it is a city, state, or neighborhood that holds nostalgic memories and joy from long ago. Are you stuck in the desire to recreate that feeling, or tempted to go back so you can relive the past? Maybe you are in a career that was once fulfilling and now you are filled with boredom and drudgery just showing up at work. You aren’t fulfilled, you aren’t getting that promotion, or you aren’t getting the respect you deserve but you are too afraid to start over for fear of failing, so you just keep showing up, wondering what life would look like if you had chosen another career path.  Maybe you are stuck in pain from a deep, aching loss that leaves you feeling raw and depressed. Your hurt was so traumatizing that you can’t let your wound scar over because every time you start to let yourself live a little, you rip open the wound by reliving your hurt over and over until you are feeling the same way you did on the day it happened.

Any one of these scenarios, or any others you can drum up, will leave us feeling stuck and unable to produce because we aren’t willing to prune away the parts that leave us dried up and withering.  It is a known fact that if you don’t prune plants, it results in weak or dead limbs and structural defects.  The same thing happens to us; if we don’t allow ourselves to be pruned, we become weak with dead parts (our hearts and minds), or we have structural defects (our relationships and ability to feel joy).  Did you know that pruning plants can also minimize the potential for pest damage?  Think of that negative self-talk as pests; they will eat away at your psyche and turn you into something that is bitter and dried up, just waiting to die.

Don’t get me wrong; I know there are people with mental illness and setbacks that can’t just “snap out of it” and get going. That is where counseling comes in. If you are broken and filled with anxiety or depression that debilitates you, one of the bravest and biggest accomplishes you can ever make is the choice to seek help. If you know someone like this, stand by them and encourage them to seek help. If you aren’t debilitated, and you are just a little stuck, try to prune yourself. If you can’t do it yourself, seek a friend’s help; one who you trust and can be honest with.  Go ahead: feed your body and soul, get plenty of water and sunshine, and prune back that dead stuff so you can bloom to be your beautiful self.