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As Katie stared out the window, watching the hummingbirds chase each other in the air, vying for the fresh sugar water, she remembered a time when she wondered what her purpose for moving to this part of the country was. She had no idea it would lead to the fulfillment that she felt currently.  Her memories went something like this:

“Why am I here” Katie thought to herself.  “It is Springtime and people my age should be with a partner, with their spouse, with their children, or with friends doing spring-time things.  Instead, here I am staring outside, looking at a vast backyard of birdhouses, bird baths, and trees. Later, I will go into my office to write and afterwards sit with Aunt Rose and reminisce”. Of course, she had known that being there allowed her to offer her Aunt Rose independence.  Katie’s parents were both deceased; her father had left her and her mom when Katie was only 5 years of age.  Wild parties and gambling led him down a path that didn’t have time for a family.  He died 2 years later in a car accident. Ironically, he was hit head on by a distracted driver who was stone cold sober while her dad was stone cold drunk. Katie barely remembers the funeral and can’t recall seeing her mom cry; her parents’ relationship hadn’t been much of a relationship at all since Katie had been born. 

Two years after Katie’s mom had passed, Katie was still lost. She had never married; she just didn’t want to give that much of herself away. As selfish as that sounded, she liked being alone.  Katie had a long-term relationship once with a man named Roy.  She and Roy had been together seven years; each as independent as the other, so it was no surprise they never wanted to commit.  Somewhere along the way, they decided to go their separate ways; no drama, barely any discussion at all, they just split up.  They kept in touch for many years, but those times became fewer and fewer. The last time they talked was almost two years ago, after the funeral. He never married and was traveling, solo, around the world. She continued to work as a freelance writer, traveling from time to time to meet with potential clients.  Her life had been content; she had a dog named Grizzly. He was a wiry haired terrier of some sort whose face looked like a little bear. His fur was blackish-brown, and the name just seemed to fit.   He lived to be 16 before he breathed his last breath, taking part of Katie with him when he died.  She was devastated for months, unable to express why she was so sad. She felt guilty that she cried more over losing Grizzly, than when she lost her mom.  She didn’t think most people would understand, so she didn’t talk about it.

Her reclusive lifestyle made her the perfect person to help Aunt Rose after her Uncle Henry passed away.  They had been married 65 years and never had children.  Aunt Rose was her mother’s only sibling, so there just wasn’t anyone else to help.  If Katie hadn’t moved halfway across the country, Aunt Rose would have had to go to an assisted living, and that seemed selfish to let that occur, so Katie sold most of her possessions and here she was, 3 years later, looking out the window, wondering what God had in store for her after her Aunt Rose passed on.  Katie didn’t mind being a caretaker; her Aunt Rose was in relatively good health; she just forgot things and fell occasionally.  They were good roommates, each doing their own thing during the day, and congregating in the living room at night for movies or conversation.  On the occasional times that Katie needed to travel, Aunt Rose’s friend, Bess, came to stay. Bess was twenty years younger than Aunt Rose, but they became best friends after meeting at a church picnic.  Bess came to visit often and helped around the house when Katie was deep in a writing project.

Katie was bored.  There, she admitted it to herself; she was bored.  Even though she liked being alone, she needed something more than writing and being a caretaker. Life had become mundane, and she started feeling the boredom, mixed with a little regret, topped with a touch of self-pity.  She chastised herself for feeling this way; she chose the solitary life, and her aunt needed her. Aunt Rose had always been there for Katie when she needed something.  Katie’s mom worked two jobs and Aunt Rose would send money for Katie to spend the summer with her and Uncle Henry just so her mom could have a break.  Katie loved being with the two of them; they had a pool, a big back yard, tire swing, and a trampoline.  Their house was everything a kid could want.  It often left Katie wondering why they never had children, but she never asked.  One day, about six months ago, she found out. 

Out of the blue, Aunt Rose said “you know, your Uncle Henry and I always thought of you as the daughter that never was.  We had wanted children since the day we were married and after four years, our dream came true; I found out I was pregnant.  Not thinking twice, we painted the nursery pink; in my mind, I knew I was going to have a girl.  He made a crib in his woodworking shop, and I knitted a blanket in only two months.  One morning I started having cramps. They became so bad, I had to lay down to stop from fainting; people didn’t just run out to the doctors in those days, but I knew I needed to go.  I decided to lay down for a couple of hours and call the doctor if they didn’t go away.  I thought maybe I had overdone it in the garden and just needed to rest.   I managed to fall asleep, and when I awoke, I just knew something was wrong.  I looked down and saw a large pool of blood between my legs.  When I sat up, I felt it; a large clot passed through me.  I knew it was my baby girl that would never see her pink bedroom.  I cleaned up, went to the wood shop, and told your uncle she was gone.  He barely needed a second to process what I told him. He dropped everything, came over to me and we just held on to each other crying. No words were exchanged, and we never had another chance.  Years went by and it was so painful, I just couldn’t stand the thought of getting pregnant again.  The night I lost her, I prayed to God that He either bless me with a baby, or never let me get pregnant again if it wasn’t in His plans for me to have a baby.  He chose the latter.  You were our surrogate daughter every summer.  We relished your visits and turned the nursery into a young girl’s room.  We knew this time was limited; soon you would be a teenager and visiting your aunt and uncle for the summer would be replaced with teenage activities.  We were right, but we never held it against you. We thanked God for the time He gave us with you, and I thank Him that you chose to come back and be with me now”.  Katie had tears running down her face and went over to hug her aunt.  They didn’t need words; they just embraced and went about their day afterwards.

Aunt Rose often told Katie that she would understand if she needed to move away but Katie wouldn’t hear of it.  Aunt Rose wanted Katie to get a boyfriend, a cat, a dog, heck even a goldfish would be something more of a companion than just an old lady, she once told Katie.  Katie brushed her off and said she was fine, but wondered why she was so reluctant to form relationships.  She was afraid of hurting, plain and simple.  She remembers how it hurt to see her dad walk away, even though he never formed much of a bond with Katie.  She remembers how lost she felt when her mom passed away; she was grateful for the five years she was given after the cancer diagnosis, but she was lost.  She and her mom were best friends.  Katie also thought about the one and only dog she had ever had.  Losing grizzly was like rotten icing on top of a garbage cake.  She had let grizzly become her world; he was everything to her, and she knew that was crazy, but that is just how she felt.  Opening her heart meant opening herself to more pain.  Aunt Rose told her that the price of love is sometimes painful, but it is so much better than the alternative.  Katie wondered if that was true. Maybe it was better to just keep her heart to herself.

One day, Aunt Rose had asked Katie for a “big favor”.  Aunt Rose had a friend that couldn’t keep her dog and had no transportation to get the dog to its new owner.  The new owner was her friend’s sister, but she couldn’t take the time away from work so she needed to see if someone would meet her halfway.  “I know it is a lot to ask, Katie, but it would mean so much to me.  The other catch is that Roscoe, the dog, needs to stay here overnight and you can take off in the morning.  I will pay for the gas; it will be a five-hour drive”.   Katie reluctantly agreed, but her aunt rarely asked for favors, so she couldn’t say no.

That night, a knock on the door told Katie the time had come.  A gentleman stood there with a scrappy looking dog, Roscoe.  The man brought a kennel, blanket, food, and bowls for Roscoe.   When Katie looked down, Roscoe wagged his tail like crazy, he jumped and licked and barked like crazy. “He doesn’t have much for manners, his new owners will have a lot of work to do, that is if he’s one of the lucky ones” the man said.  “What do you mean if he’s lucky enough, I thought he already had a home” Katie responded.  The man just looked at her and started to respond before Aunt Rose jumped in and thanked the man for dropping Roscoe off. “Katie will take good care of him”.  Katie started to ask Aunt Rose something, but she interrupted and suggested they get Roscoe comfortable in his bedroom for the night.  Katie decided to take Roscoe for a walk first.  As she walked him, he became a little calmer. “You just need exercise to get calm, don’t you boy”?  Katie wondered why her aunt’s friend needed to get rid of him, but Aunt Rose just said it was private.  Roscoe sniffed at every tree and blade of grass he could get his nose on, before doing his business.  Katie decided to play ball with him in the backyard for a bit before going in.  Maybe she could wear him out and he would sleep through the night.

That night proved to be a long one; Roscoe wanted to be with people. He didn’t like being alone and he whined until Katie finally caved and went into the spare room to sleep on the bed next to Roscoe’s crate.  As soon as her head hit the pillow, Roscoe stopped whining and went to sleep.  The next morning, she woke up bright and early, fed Roscoe, walked him, and loaded him in the car.   She had her directions loaded into her phone and took off with Roscoe in the back seat.  He was secure in his crate and seemed to be content with a big dog smile as he looked out the window.

The drive was uneventful, and she looked for the car she was supposed to be meeting.  When she saw the car, she stopped, asked if the person was “Hillary” and they proceeded to chat briefly as Katie got Roscoe out for a quick potty break.  “Normally, we try not to do that,” said Hillary.  “We don’t know the dogs and can’t be certain they won’t break free” she continued.  “What are you talking about, I figured you knew Roscoe if you were willing to take him from your sister, I mean he is really a great dog” replied Katie.  Hillary just looked at Katie as if she were an alien.  “I’m sure you are the Katie that is volunteering with Mobile Mutts and there can’t be two Katies, transporting a dog in a white Honda SUV, so I’m not sure what you are referring to about me taking this dog from my sister. I am taking this dog to the shelter in Chicago where he can live until he finds his forever home”.  Katie was dumbfounded and had no idea how to process what she was hearing. As they talked, Katie realized that there was no friend of Aunt Rose, Roscoe wasn’t going to a home, he was part of the rescue group that transports dogs from high kill shelters to no-kill or low-kill shelters in hopes they get adopted. Her aunt had bamboozled her into getting introduced into this volunteer group. Aunt Rose had filled out all the paperwork and just led Katie into thinking she was doing her a favor. “So, once I let Roscoe go, you take him to a shelter, and he waits”.  Katie asked.  “Yes, he has a much better chance there than where he was, that’s how it works. I have been with this volunteer group for 5 years; we have seen hundreds of dogs get their forever homes by giving them a second chance” replied Hillary.   “But Roscoe can’t stand to be alone, he will be heartbroken” Katie said.  “Listen, you can’t rescue them all, but you will end up with one or two along the way that sneak into your heart.  You just have to tell yourself that you are volunteering to get these dogs with the right family” Hillary returned.  “But I am NOT volunteering; I am just doing what I thought was a favor for my aunt’s friend and taking this sweet boy to his next home”. Katie choked out as tears filled her eyes.  “I get it, I didn’t realize you didn’t know what you were doing. You have to decide if this is something you can do; but know this: those dogs live and find homes because of volunteers who are willing to open their homes for a night and travel with them to get them to their next destination before adoption. Without us, they wouldn’t have a chance” Hillary explained. Katie looked down at Roscoe and back at Hillary.  “I can’t let him go. I can’t. I won’t.  I have already made a connection. I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t do it.  What do I need to do to adopt him” Katie pleaded. Hillary looked at her for a moment and said “Well, this is a little out of the ordinary, but let me make some calls”.

Hillary made Katie promise to stop by the shelter with the adoption fee and gave her a phone number to call to let the organizer of her Mobile Mutts division know if she would continue to help.  Hillary promised Katie that she wouldn’t regret it. Katie said she would think about it, but she had a lot to process right now.  As she drove away, looking in the rear-view mirror at Roscoe, she felt dread. She couldn’t believe she let this scrappy dog back into her car. She couldn’t believe her emotions; how could she care that much after only one night?  What in the world was she doing, taking a dog home? She was so going to give Aunt Rose a talking-to.

When Katie arrived home, with Roscoe behind her, she opened the door and called for her aunt.  “Aunt Rose”! “We need to talk; you tricked me into thinking this dog was your friends’ dog. Where are you”?  Katie looked into the living room and saw her aunt lying on the couch with an ice pack.  “Aunt Rose, are you okay”?  Her aunt looked up at her, over at Roscoe and smiled.  “I’m so glad you kept him. Something about him reminded me of Grizzly. I can’t even explain what it was, but I really wanted you to meet him. I also wanted you to get a proper introduction to that volunteer group. They have an amazing mission, Katie. It is something right up your alley. You can be alone, in the car, with just a dog keeping you company. You can drive a helpless dog to the next journey in their life in finding their forever home; this is something I know you would do passionately” Aunt Rose said this through shallow breaths. Roscoe had climbed up on the end of the couch and laid at Aunt Roses feet. He looked between the two of them as if he understood their conversation. 

Aunt Rose went on to tell Katie that she hadn’t been feeling well. She explained that her breath was harder to come by, her legs were getting weaker, and she was feeling like her time was coming.  She pleaded with Katie to let something of life into her heart. She apologized to Katie for tricking her, but she knew Katie almost as well as she would have known her own daughter, and she knew that she had to act, or Katie would be lost in a sea of complacency and loneliness.  “Girl, you need to open your heart. God never meant for us to be alone. Start with this old dog here, look at him, he’s already made his way into this home.  Help other dogs, help other people, let others into your heart. I promise you, the hurt of losing people or pets far outweighs the hurt of being alone.  You have blessed me so much these last years of my life. I can’t imagine living them alone. I don’t have long Katie and I can’t bear to think of you sitting here letting life go by”.  “I am keeping Roscoe, Aunt Rose, I already promised to call the shelter with an adoption fee tomorrow.  I can’t promise that I will continue to volunteer with that group, but I will think about it” Katie promised.  “That is enough for me Katie, that is enough” with that, Aunt Rose closed her eyes to sleep.

The next morning, Katie went to the shelter and paid an adoption fee.  She inquired about the other dogs and which ones were close to being there too long.  The girl behind the desk told her that she wasn’t supposed to give that information. “Look, I volunteer for Mobile Mutts, I am asking so we can start the process of getting them to other shelters” Katie said.  She was astounded to learn that five dogs were within a month of being euthanized unless someone came to adopt them.  She left the shelter, knowing what she needed to do.  She drove back to the house knowing she would tell her aunt that she would continue on with volunteering.

When Katie walked in the house, she felt strange.  There was no television on, Roscoe was not at the door to greet her, Aunt Rose was not in the living room, and Roscoe didn’t come when called.  She tried calling him again, but only heard a bark in return.  Katie went into Aunt Rose’s bedroom to find her aunt lying in bed with Roscoe sitting next to it, his head leaning on the bed looking at Aunt Rose.  “She’s gone, isn’t she Roscoe”?  Roscoe looked at Katie and walked over to her with his head down, putting his head into her hands.  Katie knelt down and looked at Roscoe “Thank you for sitting with her. I promise you this will be your last home.  We are going to help others find their forever homes together. If I can’t find someone to stay with you while I’m on the road, you are coming with me. We are in this together buddy”.  At that, Roscoe looked up at her as if he understood and bumped her face with his nose before putting his paw on her leg. 

Katie went over and held her aunt’s hand for a long time before calling the non-emergency police.  She pondered what her aunt had done. She knew her aunt had more wisdom than she had at this time in her life, but she also knew what she needed to do after she took care of the arrangements.  She called Bess to let her know about Aunt Rose.  They discussed the celebration of life that would include church family and friends. Katie sat with Aunt Rose until the sheriff and coroner arrived. She thought about her journey to this point in her life. She picked up the phone to call Hillary, explaining that she had lost the card with the main contact.

Now, as she stood at the window, watching the hummingbirds vying for their time at the feeders, with Roscoe at her side, she smiled. She looked upwards and said “How did you know Aunt Rose. How did you know that this is what would fulfill me”?  It had been almost three years since Aunt Rose passed away and Katie had been with Mobile Mutts ever since. At an average of 300 miles a week, driving three times a week, Katie and Roscoe have driven almost 47,000 miles transporting dogs and handing them off to other drivers.  Katie has heard numerous success stories over the last three years of dogs and families being united. Katie brought another rescue home last year, Susie.  She was a twelve-year-old Maltese-mix that was left at the shelter door.  The shelter had no room and reached out to Katie.  Not wanting to rock the boat, Katie introduced Susie to Roscoe, who was a perfect gentleman. It was as if he understood that she was an old lady needing a place to live out the rest of her life. Roscoe shared his bed with her, he tried to engage her in play, and he didn’t mind sharing “Katie” time with her.  Sadly, Susie only lived for 8 months in their home, before old age claimed her, but Katie knew their time together was special.  She also knew that Roscoe would be willing to let others into their circle.

As Katie broke herself from the trance, she looked at the clock. It was 7:00 a.m. “Come on Roscoe, we need to go get Peppy out of his crate and walk him before our long drive”.  Roscoe wagged his tail, turned in a circle, and headed for the bedroom where Peppy was sleeping.  Katie thought how funny it was that she had seen the ads for Mobile Mutts in her email. She had seen the pleas for help; she had passed a sign on the way to the grocery store looking for volunteers. Her solution had been there all along; she just needed her aunt to point out was in plain sight.

Postscript: Before I moved out of the Midwest, I was signed up to volunteer for the organization called Mobile Mutts. I have met some of the Champaign, Illinois base volunteers, and their hearts were huge. I do not think they are, currently, in operation, although I have emails out to a few people to find out. They were strictly volunteer based, and may have had a difficult time with funding. That is purely speculation. I will add a live link if I find out otherwise. The organization reference is the only part of this post that is real; all other similarities are purely coincidental.