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Chapter 1

Margie was just finishing up the dishes when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. She had been home from work for an hour and was cleaning up before Brad got home. She loved being alone for that hour of the day; it gave her time to unwind from the workday before starting dinner.  She turned to her left and screamed, dropping the glass in her hand as she looked at the old man standing there before realizing it was Brad with a mask on.  “Damn it, Brad, how many times do I have to ask you to stop with your practical jokes?  You take things too far and one of these days it is going to backfire on you.”  “Oh, come on Margie, it was funny, I didn’t know you’d get that scared. I’ll help you clean up the glass.”  Margie was almost in tears as she picked up the large pieces of glass. She had begged Brad to stop with all the pranks he pulled on people. He took it to the extreme most times, and it has gotten worse over the last year. At first, his little pranks were funny. She laughed at the time he put a bumper sticker on her car advertising a candidate she didn’t like. She laughed, that is, once she realized it was only adhered by a small piece of tape. She thought it was funny when he put a big spoonful of sugar in her coffee, knowing she drinks it black, or the time he put a stuffed animal in the refrigerator, startling her when she opened the door.  Those jokes were few and far between and spanned over the course of a year.  These days, he has expanded his pranks to other people, and has elevated the type he pulls on her. He does them so often, she almost dreads when he comes home from work.

She didn’t think it was funny to find a plastic spider in her scrambled eggs; she is deathly afraid of spiders, and she could have easily missed it and swallowed the toy. She didn’t appreciate having him pretend he was having a heart attack to see how fast she would move.  Their neighbors didn’t appreciate him opening their back yard gate, and taking their dog out so they would think it escaped.  There were so many pranks that angered people Margie was beginning to worry about him and their marriage. She was getting fed up with it all and didn’t enjoy this newfound passion of his.  She warned him over and over that he may take it too far and lose friendships, that people might get hurt by his pranks.

She was looking forward to the extended family vacation they would embark on tomorrow. Besides her and Brad, there would be John, Brad’s brother and his wife, Janice, Margie’s sister, Amy and her husband, Dan, and one of his cousins, Sue, and her husband Tom.  They were taking 2 cars to Tijuana, the guys in one car and the girls in another. Margie was really looking forward to the female bonding. Even though it was only a two-hour drive from Orange County, it would be fun to have girl talk. Honestly, she was glad that she wouldn’t be riding with Brad. As bad as that sounded, she needed a break from him and his pranks.  They had gotten a great deal on an all-inclusive resort for a 7-night stay.  Margie was hoping that this time of male bonding for Brad would break his prank habit.  “It’s fine Brad, let’s just start dinner and finish packing for tomorrow.”

Chapter 2

“Let’s all double check driver’s license, passports, and any other valuables.”  John was great about lists and read off all the essentials everyone should have in their possession.  He made sure both cars had bottled water, emergency kits in case they broke down, and that everyone had possession of their passports before they crossed over into Tijuana.  The group had met at Margie and Brads, had breakfast, and drew out the route to the resort after they crossed over the patrol in Tijuana.  Since vehicle permits were required for the distance, they were traveling, John made sure each vehicle was equipped with them.  Brad was driving the first car and Margie the second.  John instructed Margie to keep close to them, especially after getting through the border.  He tried to talk the ladies into splitting up so they would be alone, but they refused. They were only driving 20 miles into Tijuana; they would be fine. 

“Hey guys, let’s pretend we’re ditching the ladies after we cross the border, we’ve only got another 15 minutes.”  “Brad, that’s a terrible idea, exclaimed his brother, stay close to them and leave the jokes behind.”  Brad sulked a little at his brother and began to ponder something else.   He wanted to figure out a good one to pull on the gang once they got to the resort.  As he pulled up to the border agent, he looked in the review mirror to make sure the ladies were right behind him.  Margie waved at him, and she got nearer to his car.  He gave all the documents to the agent and waited patiently.  As he took the documents back, from the agent and put the car in gear he said, “you better watch that car behind us, that lady might have drugs on her.”  As he took off, the guys didn’t think that was funny. They chastised him about it. He wondered why they were so uptight.  He slowed down, eventually pulling over as he saw Margie get out of the car.  An agent drove up to him and told him to move on. “That’s our wives back there, I don’t want to go on without them. “Get moving buddy or you’ll be looking at the inside of a jail cell.”  Reluctantly, Brad started to drive as slow as he could.  Once he got through the border patrol area, he pulled over.  All the guys were pulling their phones out calling their wives, but all went to voicemail.  Brad was a little concerned about how long it was taking, but he figured they would be pulling up soon, and they could all get the vacation started. They had been sitting there for 30 minutes and contemplated trying to contact the police.

“Brad, what the hell did you think you were doing back there, that isn’t even funny, yelled Dan.”  Brad didn’t respond, he was feeling a little queasy, with the sound of Margie’s voice in his head, telling him that someday he would be sorry about his pranks.   Soon, the blue Honda CRV was in sight.  “Thank God, said John, I was getting worried.”   The guys all waved their hands up in the air to get the ladies’ attention. As the car approached, they knew something was terribly wrong; Amy was driving with Janice in the front seat while Sue sat, alone, in the back seat. 

The CRV came to a halt and all the ladies jumped out screaming and crying.  Sue was the first to gain composure to tell the guys that they were forced to leave Margie behind. “We’re not sure what happened, but as soon as we pulled up, the guard asked us all to get out of the car. Three more agents came over and frisked us.  They pulled Margie aside and took her to a building. After 15 minutes, the agent came out alone, said something to the other agent, and smiled.  That’s when they told us to move on. We tried to refuse, but they pointed a gun at us and told us to move on or get shot.”  At the last sentence, Sue lost her composure again and started crying.  “What are we going to do?  Amy cried out, that’s my little sister.”  At that, Brad turned around and threw up.

Chapter 3

“What’s going on with Brad”, asked Amy.  Dan reluctantly told Amy what Brad had said to the security guard.  Amy blew up, she lost her self-control and began running toward Brad. When she reached him, she started punching and slapping him, she couldn’t stop herself, she yelled expletives at him and barely remembered the names she called him. Dan pulled her off Brad, as he just stood there and took all that Amy dished out to him. Brad didn’t try to defend himself and he didn’t resist her insults; he just stood there with a blank stare in his eye, as tears rolled down his face.  Brad was lost, he didn’t know what steps to take next and he didn’t know what he would do if anything happened to Margie.  Brad threw up again before his head hit the ground.

“Wake up, Brad” it was Sue, tapping his face while Tom ran to get some water to put on Brad.  As Brad opened his eyes, he realized he had passed out.  He stood up, gained what composure he could, and looked at the group.  “Margie warned me, over and over, that someday I would go too far. I never listened to her, and now I may never see my wife again.  I don’t know what to do, we can’t go back to the border entry, and we don’t know where they would take her, if they took her in.  At that time, an armed guard started to approach them.  He said something in Spanish and pointed his gun.  Sue spoke out in Spanish, explaining that the group didn’t know Spanish and she was limited.  He spoke in broken English, asking them why they were hanging out here and told them it looked suspicious.  They explained that Margie had been detained due to a very bad practical joke that her husband pulled.  The guard looked puzzled but said that any suspected drug dealers or carriers would go straight to prison and wait for a hearing.  She asked for the address of the police station and if they could talk to someone to get their friend out.  He gave them the address and told them he doubted anyone would help them until they could get an attorney.   Then suddenly, he turned around and walked away with no further help.  When they called out to him, he ignored them and told them to move on before they got arrested too.

Brad looked lost; he was in constant tears; he didn’t know what to do.   He told the group that he would call his attorney as soon as they got to the hotel. He didn’t care what it cost, he would pay for it, but he wanted to see if they could go see Margie first.  They all agreed to meet at the Police station, but Dan insisted on driving the 2^nd call and told Tom to drive the first.  As they took off, Dan turned around and couldn’t believe his eyes.

Chapter 4

The drive to the police station was 45 minutes in the opposite direction of their hotel room.  Amy called Tom and told him she would alert the hotel that they would be later than expected.  The ride to the police station was bumpy, filled with traffic, and lined with armed guards.  Twice, Tom pulled the car over so Brad could get out and empty whatever was left in his stomach.  Dan waited, patiently, but drove in silence. He didn’t want to engage with the women right now. He was feeling a pit of dread in his stomach; he couldn’t wait to get to the police station and out of the car.

As they pulled up to the police station, armed guards stopped to watch them.  Dan got out immediately, cursing something under his breath.  Brad and Tom exited the car and started to go up to the door.   “Wait, Brad” yelled Amy.  Come over here for a minute, I need your help with something in the car.  “I need to go find my wife, someone else can help you”.  “No, Brad, it can only be you” responded Amy.  As Brad walked over to the car, Amy and Sue opened the back door and walked away, heading to the guys.  “What are you doing, I thought you needed my help,” said Brad.  “We do, just go to the car”.  As Brad approached the car, they saw him stop, start to sway, and pass out again.  They all ran over to try to catch him before he hit the ground.

“Wake up, Brad. You fainted again” this time it was Amy tapping at his face and flicking water in it.  As Brad opened his eyes. He looked around.  “I swear, I though I saw………………Margie”!  Brad screamed as he jumped up.  “What the heck is going on”? “Brad, I swear I didn’t have anything to do with this; I only found out once I got in the car” exclaimed Dan.  At that Margie spoke up: “I’ve been in the car the entire time, Brad”.   The guard, at the Border station, made me get out, he patted me down, extremely well, if you get my drift.  I explained to him that my overly enthusiastic husband-turned-jokester, had gone too far.  After patting each of us down, with much exuberance, they let us go.  That is when I decided to teach you a lesson and give you a taste of your own medicine.  I know you are going to be angry; I know it was wrong, spiteful, and in poor taste, but I needed you to see what could have happened because of your pranks.   They really were going to take us in, but something in my anger as I explained the situation, must have gotten through to them. As I said, I know you are going to be angry, and I’m sure I’ve ruined the trip for everyone, but I just couldn’t let it go”.  

As soon as Margie stopped speaking, Brad ran to her, hugged her fiercely and kissed her entire face. “I can’t be angry with you; I deserved it. I’ve been a jerk and you tried to warn me, but I wouldn’t stop. I thought I might never see you again, and I couldn’t imagine what they might do to you in there.  I’m not angry, I love you and I swear, I am done with practical jokes”.  At that point, a guard started walking over to them to see what they were up to.   He spoke in English to them, asking them if they needed some help.  “No Sir, we have all we need. My wife was missing, but I have found her”.  With that, Brad smiled at Margie and said, “let’s get to the resort and have some fun”.  They all split up into separate cars with Brad and Margie in the front seat of one, holding hands.