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It happens so often; that person that gets on your nerves in a meeting, becomes a good friend, or at least someone from whom you learn a lesson.  I’ve talked to many people over the years that can attest to this. There you are, in church, at a work meeting, in a book club, at a community event, etc… and you find yourself getting irritated by someone. It could be the way they come in looking disheveled as if they didn’t take the time to comb their hair, it could be that person who always shows up 5 or 10 minutes late, maybe it’s that person that feels like they must interject and give their opinion, that person who is always looking at their phone. Whatever the bothersome quirk is, we’ve all been there, judging that person. Then, you start to get to know them and something changes.  Sound familiar?  Sometimes the most important lessons learned are from those you were quick to judge.

It usually happens when you are in a situation in which you have to meet with the same people on a regular basis.  After being forced to get to know each other, you start to learn a little about everyone in attendance.  Perhaps that disheveled person just ran through the parking lot, chasing down papers from his or her briefcase that opened unexpectedly.  How about that person that shows up late so often?  Maybe she is a single Mom and has an unreliable babysitter, or it could be an adult son that is taking care of his elderly parent and must find someone to stay with them or clean up unexpected messes before he is headed out the door. That person that feels the need to give his or her opinion all the time, might be in a really bad place in their head. Maybe he or she lacks self-confidence due to a bad relationship.  That person that can’t stop looking at their phone might have a child that is always in trouble, or a child that has a disability and needs special care.

Once relationships start to form, it is amazing how one’s eyes can be opened to the need of others. The fact that we are all on a journey, and some of us are in strong battles in our daily lives. At some point or another, each of us will go through extreme challenges or heartache and will still have to go through daily responsibilities.  When our eyes are closed to other people’s circumstances, it is easy to get frustrated or irritated with what we view as quirky behavior.  It is so easy to judge others and forget about looking in the mirror at our own bad habits, or our own way of dealing with life circumstances.

I know in my personal life; I’ve been in small groups or bible studies at church and come across many people that faced extremely trying situations. Sometimes cultivating a relationship was very easy, and other times not so much.  One of the most rewarding things that has ever happened to me was when someone came up to me towards the end of a long bible study course and told me that because of what I did and how I led the course, they turned their life back over to Jesus. Wow. Could there be a better honor?  That was an important life lesson for me because I may not have tried to get to know this person outside of church. This person did more secret deeds for others than I ever had.  This person created situations in which to help others less fortunate than them.  I hadn’t been actively doing so, yet this person told me that I helped them.  I had so much to learn.

Think about the people you come across on a daily basis. What can you learn from them or how can you get to know them so each of you can learn from the other?  Creating relationships is crucial to well-being. Even if you aren’t in a situation that you will form a relationship, you can still do something that might change a life.  I touched on it in my blog post about random acts of kindness.   Sometimes that homeless person you smile to or give a cup of coffee, might be the only human interaction they have that day.  That person in the grocery store that looks forlorn, might have just lost a loved one and can barely manage to think about getting groceries.  That person that cut you off in traffic, might be racing to an emergency.  When you have a chance, do something unexpected for someone else. Next time you are in a work meeting, or church group, or neighborhood meeting, make an effort to talk to the person that is least like you.  Life is strange that way; sometimes the biggest lessons we learn are from those whom we never would have expected.