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This is another great interview in which I met this amazing woman at a festival. She was with her friend, with whom I started talking. Lisa was a bit more quiet; she was humble, yet beaming when she talked about her creations of clothing and her ability to sew. Her passion was infectious; it made me want to grab all my clothing, that needed alterations and contact her. It also made me think of a time when I lamented about how women’s clothing needing an overhaul. Below, you will see a variety of questions and answers that outline a life of hope, grief, sorrow, courage, determination, and resolve. I hope you will appreciate Lisa’s story as much as I did. If you want to visit her website and talk to her about her creations, you can do so on her facebook page or at SewSweetMagic@gmail.com

Grief

What is an event that happened to you and rocked your world?
I’ve had a lot of events that have changed my life but the first one was my best friend/ crush dying at the age of 12. I didn’t realize it at the age I was, but I did a brave thing and admitted in group therapy that I had a crush on him; only to be met with mockery. 

How has that event changed the way you see the world?
This brought me from an outgoing person to a withdrawn one. This was when my depression started showing up as well. 

What are you doing to heal from that and what steps or advice can you give others?
The two biggest things I learned from this are: 

1. It is ok to reach out when you need help, it’s not being weak; it is being strong enough to want to get better despite the hard work.
2. Don’t live with regrets. The song “I hope you Dance” has special meaning for me: 

We had asked each other to dance at the school dance, instead we just kind of awkwardly stood there talking. By the next school dance, he was gone. Now I try not to turn down opportunities when they arise. 

Life Change

What is a life changing event that you weren’t expecting to happen?
Covid 

How did that event alter the way you live life?
First of all, I was working in the theater industry at a Costume rental company in Upstate New York. I remember the exact day: Friday March 13 2020. We started getting phone calls from clients that they had to postpone their shows for maybe a couple of weeks. Several months later and all the shows were canceled or still postponed, we even had a show that was stranded at a school for three months. The company had to get a PPP loan and it was only enough to pay for the basic necessities and a month of my pay.  With the sudden lack of  things to do, I started to realize how toxic the relationship I was in really was. Finally in September of 2020 I got the courage to leave.

Was the experience positive or negative and how have you incorporated that change into your daily living?
These experiences were both positive and negative. I had to leave a job that I loved, and several people who had become like a second family. Going through this, and realizing how bad, and how many signs I missed in the 7 year relationship was mentally hard on me; I’m still processing that some days. I try to think of it as something to learn from, that I need to have more confidence in myself and assert my needs more. 

Any advice or words of Wisdom to give to others who might be experiencing the same thing?

You have the strength to go on; It is scary as anything. I have friends going through similar things and I always call them survivors. But I always think of myself as a victim. Changing that one word can change your whole perspective.

Change of Career

What career do you have now and what did you move away from?
Now I work for myself, I do sewing alterations as well as create some awesome custom work. I am also hoping to start going to craft fairs and start selling corsets and other works. Before Covid I was working up in New York, working at a theatrical costume rental company.

What made you decide to take the bold step of changing careers?
Life had changed so I needed to. There seemed to be a need in the community and working for myself gives me something to do, while still allowing me time to heal. 

How long did it take you before you decided to make the move?
About a year and a half. At first I was focused on healing myself, to be able to go back and work where I was before. But then I realized, I didn’t want to be far from my family and my support system. For a couple of  months,  my parents were gently pushing me in that direction and I finally jumped on board. 

How did the transition go?  Do you have any tips or advice for other women that want to make a career change?
It’s been a mostly smooth transition, I have all the skills, I’m just applying them in a different way. While I would love to get back into theater again, right now I need something that causes less stress, and gives me the flexibility to keep healing. It is important that you take care of yourself. I know it’s scary to get away from a (bad) situation,  but if you don’t try, you won’t fly. 

Competing Commitments

By definition, a competing commitment is a conflict between a goal and a value, or a goal and your deep down desire to do so.  My slightly altered definition is: A woman’s struggle with all the commitments pulling at her at one time:  It could be kids/spouse/work/friends/workout/hobbies all calling for you at the same time.  Reading my version: What are the two or three of your main competing commitments?
Right now the two big things in my life are that  I’m taking time to heal past mental wounds, and  building a business.

How does it make you feel when everything is vying for your attention at once?
Stressed but I have been known to work really well under pressure. 

How do you work through triaging what comes first?
Everyday I have to make a choice of which is better for me to do. If I don’t feel mentally up for it or my stress level is too high, I have to take a “me” day. This helps ensure that both myself and the quality of my products are the best they can be.

How do you work through the guilt of not being able to do it all?
From the time I was in high school up until about 29, I was constantly going, without stopping. By the time my life slowed down, suddenly everything bad that had happened in that time, truly started to process, and the crash was HARD. So now I know that I need to process things as they happen, otherwise it will all come crashing down at the same time, creating a bigger upset. 

Any other thoughts or advice?
Don’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself;  it will keep you physically and mentally healthier. 

Out of your comfort zone or advice for other women

What is something you’ve done that has taken you outside of your comfort zone in life?  Alternately, what obstacle have you overcome to be where you are today?

Honestly, starting this business has been petrifying to me because it is just one big unknown. I don’t know if I will fail or succeed, and that is scary. But, if you don’t try, you will never know, and as I’ve said, I try not to live with regrets.

What advice can you give to women who are struggling to find their way in a career, a place of inertia. 

Sometimes we have to work twice as hard and twice as much. The hardest thing for me has been to know my worth. I’ve worked in so many varieties of environments and it never fails; in wonderful environments I thrive;  in toxic environments, I fail. If you can; set yourself up to thrive.

Being female has unique struggles and challenges; we tend to be the “glue” of the family, we tend to be strong so our family doesn’t see us crumble. Typical women tend to work, take care of the kids, be the caregivers, the house keepers, the cooks, etc….. Knowing this, think about the questions below and tell us your perspective.. This isn’t right or wrong to fit into this mold.  We are strong and have such unique qualities that make us role models to those around us; it is a gift to be female.

What did your family unit look like growing up and how did it shape you into the woman you are today.  

Growing up I was the youngest of three. My Mom and Dad are still together. Us children spent most of the time with mom who worked from home as a painter, and we all watched Dad work tirelessly to provide a life that he didn’t have.If the above statement doesn’t apply to you, tell us why or why not. What shaped you to break out of that mold.
I think it taught me what I needed;  Dad definitely passed on his work ethic to all of his children, and Mom passed on her creativity. I had grown up thinking that I would fall somewhat into a similar situation;  work from home so I can raise kids. Life never quite works the way we imagine, does it? Despite all the crazy twists and turns and all of the bad, I don’t know if I would do it differently, because then I wouldn’t be where and who I am today.