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You may have read some other posts of mine where I mention my daily habit of reading plans in a bible app. The other day, the author in the devotional was writing about a section in Numbers.  The Israelites were promised a land flowing with milk and honey, but they had to overtake the current people residing in it, so they sent a few men to go scope it out for them.  The men returned with great reports of what the land looked like but began to tell of the giant men occupying the area. They relayed that there was no way they would be able to take over the land because the current residents were too big and too strong. The spies were focusing on their own might and not of God, who had promised them the land.

The rest of the Israelites began to ruminate on the idea of failure, and it spiraled them. They began to romanticize their time in Egypt with all the food they had to eat. These same people, now, missing Egypt, forgot about their many cries and pleas to God about being slaves and in captivity. They were worked hard by the Egyptians and were tired. They had no freedom whatsoever and they were desperate for it. Now, as they are faced with a new hurdle, they doubt the God that saved them and start reminiscing on how good they had it in their former life.  Never mind the fact that God saved them from Egypt, parted the Red Sea for them, gave them water to drink in the arid desert heat, opened the sky so Manna could rain down in abundance, and gave them quail to eat when they started grumbling about the Manna. Their clothes never wore out during their entire journey, yet these people didn’t know how to be appreciative. They had amnesia of all the blessings they had from God.  How dare they!

But wait. Aren’t we all a little bit like the Israelites wanting to go back to whatever our ‘Egypt’ is? Don’t we all get a case of amnesia when hard times hit?  I know I do. I have prayed to God for change, received the change, and then grumbled about it when situations get a little too tough for me. I forget all the blessings I have received and the many ways that God has brought me through rough periods in my life. I forget all the instances where He’s given me grace when I didn’t deserve it, and all the occasions where He answered my prayers in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Yes, I forget. I complain. I grumble when seasons of my life are tough or if I get bored in my current situation. I have found myself looking backwards at the way things were, romanticizing about another time. Is anyone with me on this?

I started a new practice a few months ago, after hearing a sermon about thankfulness. I thank God for all that He has brought me through. I remember the rough times and look at where I might have acted like a victim or taken my eyes off Jesus and focused on my circumstances. I thank God for seeing me through the great times and the not-so-great times. I ask Him to help me learn to do better each day; to be thankful in all circumstances. I thank Him for all the friends he has given me and all the opportunities He has allowed me to experience. If I have experienced grief, it is only because I knew love.  If I miss family or friends, it means that I am blessed with those relationships. I am blessed to wake up each morning and spend time with my husband. I have a great marriage, fantastic friendships and relationships with my family. My sisters are my best friends. The plan I read the other day reminded me that I never want to go back to Egypt.  I want to remember to say “Thank you” to God and keep my eyes focused on the Promised Land.