I’ve been reading and listening to various sources of secular and non-secular topics on practicing peace, changing habits, having joy, experiencing mindfulness, and ridding oneself of negativity. It has been interesting to listen to the various ways people find their center and manage to change habits and get healthy. There are some odd thought patterns out there, at least odd to me. Of course, my thought patterns and practices may be odd to others. I just had a birthday; it is the last year in one of my decades and it has caused me to pause and evaluate where I am in life and how I am using the gifts I have been given. It’s been an interesting journey, thus far, and I’m enjoying it while trying to learn from each day, each mistake, each accomplishment, every good or bad thought, and all those who are in my life now or enter it each day.

When humans feel pain, the natural tendency is to avoid it.  If it is physical pain, our brains tell our body to remove ourselves from the source, if it is mental pain, our brain wants to avoid it and may invoke various thoughts on how to do so. Depending on our upbringing, our past techniques, and our self-talk, we may avoid painful thoughts by eating, drinking alcohol, sedating with pills, exercising, reading, looking at art, shopping, getting on social media, or listening to music. I’m sure there are many other ways you can think of to add to this list. My point is, removing ourselves from painful thoughts works for a while, but at some point, we are going to need to deal with that pain, whether it is a traumatic memory, the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a dream never realized.  Our brains can bury painful thoughts and memories for only so long before it will manifest itself again.  The way in which it manifests itself can vary; it can be repeated recall of the painful event, depression, anxiety, addiction, or illness.  To best serve our mind, soul, and body, it is best to be proactive on the journey.

Deep trauma is probably best addressed with a licensed therapist that is trained in such matters. For other painful experiences, techniques can be as easy (or difficult) as training your brain how to feel your emotions. That sounds easy, but it is more desirable for human brains to practice avoidance by distracting ourselves when a negative, or perceived negative emotion arises. Whether we have lost loved ones (people or pets), or have lost jobs or other dreams, it can be hard to let those emotions in; it feels easier to try to drown it out and replace it with something else. 

Journaling is a practice that has been around almost since mankind. It is an easy way to jot down plans, emotions, fears, memories, and thankfulness. There is power in putting pen to paper that can’t be accomplished with meditation.  Yes, meditation is good and healthy, but jotting down thoughts forces us to have a steady stream of thoughts, it is hard to daydream when you are writing intentionally. There is also power in seeing what you wrote. Having your goals, resolutions, fears, plans, etc.  becomes more concrete when it is in a journal in front of you. I believe that is why coaching sessions, whether in person or on an app, are popular and successful. If you only resolve to do something in your mind, there isn’t as much accountability as when you write it down and have to revisit it. Adding a mentor or accountability partner amps it up another level. When you need to answer someone as to whether or not you stuck to your plan, you have more motivation. My opinion is that if you are brave enough to find an accountability partner, make sure it is someone with compassion and resolution. You want to allow yourself grace if you don’t meet your daily/weekly/monthly goal, but you want to be challenged to do so. You want to revel in small successes rather than practice negative self-talk.  We are human and we are going to make mistakes or fall short of our goal sometimes.  Give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes and use it to move on.

Of course, my viewpoint comes from a non-secular stand. I incorporate secular tips into my daily devotional journaling. I do believe in the power of the human brain and the power of science. God created science, so why wouldn’t He want us to use it?  I believe in the power of retraining your thought patterns and to teach self-control; one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control.  I believe moderation is the key to most things.  It is okay to eat sweets, just learn how to use portion control and moderation and don’t beat yourself up if you ate 1 or 4 more cookies than you meant. Think about why you did it, make a note to find something else to do when that situation or thought arises in the future. It is okay to drink alcohol, with the same principle as aforementioned; if you overdid it, ask yourself why and resolve to create a plan to avoid over-doing it next time.   You can apply this principle to work, shopping, social-media surfing and other activities that can become bad habits or overindulgences.  The bible tells us in black and white (and some red, depending on which version you have) that it is not what goes into the mouth that makes us evil; it is what is in the heart. I believe what we choose to watch, talk about, listen to, and engage in is a heart-matter. If we are right in our heart, and we practice it in our minds, we can be at peace within ourselves. When we are peace with ourselves, we are able to compassionately serve others and shine our light while sharing our talents.  Choose joy, my friends.